Advice On Girls, Yes Another One

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Advice on girls, yes another one
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 Phoenix.Sehachan
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By Phoenix.Sehachan 2011-12-07 12:35:33
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Keep in mind there are also many nerdy girls. But anyway, just say that you have x interests, don't label yourself as if you need to be defensive about it, that would just be perceived like lack of confidence.
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 Phoenix.Dabackpack
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By Phoenix.Dabackpack 2011-12-07 12:45:42
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I know this probably isn't totally relevant to this particuar case, but I think I should share something "positive" in a sea of negative stories.

I am in a relationship now with the girl of my dreams. We have been for seven months now. We started off as close friends, and then through many events our relationship grew. How did it happen?

I spent over a year in pure emotional hell for it.

I was what most girls would call a "guy friend". I guess this is just a male that she can tell things about and hear opinions from another gender. I was like, okay, cool, whatever.

Then I started to like her. She was (is) pretty, very smart, and we had more than a few common interests. We spent a lot of time together, too. The thing is, there was another girl who liked me at the time. The two girls were best friends. I never actively pursued it for this reason. Yet, I still liked my present girlfriend a lot.

She liked this jock guy. She would tell me this a lot, and she was frustrated that he didn't like her back. It hurt me a lot.

There was a lot of drama with her best friend, and I took a lot of the blame for everything. This was definitely the worst part, but I don't have enough time right now to describe it.

It was like this for a year.
Long story short, I never really stopped liking her and it paid off. I guess she just realized how much she liked being around me or something.


I need to head to class now, but if anybody cares I can talk about things that might help other people out.
 Fenrir.Niniann
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By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-12-07 12:46:01
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Most people who label themselves as nerds are really really weird. It's like you have to justify yourself or something, idk. Even if you're not weird, this prejudice is going to stick in their mind and it'll just scare people off.

Or maybe that's just me. But in any case, just say what your interests are, don't call yourself a nerd.
 Hades.Cheyne
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By Hades.Cheyne 2011-12-07 12:57:37
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
Most people who label themselves as nerds are really really weird. It's like you have to justify yourself or something, idk. Even if you're not weird, this prejudice is going to stick in their mind and it'll just scare people off.

Or maybe that's just me. But in any case, just say what your interests are, don't call yourself a nerd.
I've called myself dorky before, does that count? And I'm not THAT weird, but I am a tiny bit nerdy. ;-;
 Fenrir.Niniann
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By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-12-07 12:58:08
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Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story~

Nice story, and I'm really glad it worked out~ However, this isn't typical. I can assure you guys who've been my "guy friend" didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with me, the real exception being Nightfyre. He was only 'friend-zoned' because I had a boyfriend at the time, not because I friend-zoned him for the usual reasons.

In any case, don't become friends with a girl and expect to date them/get in their pants/whatever. If it happens, great.
 Fenrir.Niniann
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By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-12-07 12:58:31
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Hades.Cheyne said: »
I've called myself dorky before, does that count? And I'm not THAT weird, but I am a tiny bit nerdy. ;-;

Yes, yes it does. D:<
 Ragnarok.Hevans
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By Ragnarok.Hevans 2011-12-07 12:59:48
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i usually like to order girls a really expensive drink, and then tell them how much gil i have.
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 Carbuncle.Kunisama
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By Carbuncle.Kunisama 2011-12-07 13:01:44
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i usually like to order girls
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 Fenrir.Niniann
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By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-12-07 13:03:49
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i order girls
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 Ragnarok.Hevans
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By Ragnarok.Hevans 2011-12-07 13:06:38
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
i order girls


go on =o?
 Carbuncle.Lolserj
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By Carbuncle.Lolserj 2011-12-07 13:13:46
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
Most people who label themselves as nerds are really really weird. It's like you have to justify yourself or something, idk. Even if you're not weird, this prejudice is going to stick in their mind and it'll just scare people off.

Or maybe that's just me. But in any case, just say what your interests are, don't call yourself a nerd.

But i am really really weird D:<
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2011-12-07 13:14:12
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Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story

Dude, you are so boned, it isn't even funny.

Your only chance now is running away to Mexico and never coming back. Buy a fake moustache, burn all your credit cards and RUN
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 Leviathan.Quetzacoatl
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By Leviathan.Quetzacoatl 2011-12-07 13:32:55
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story

Dude, you are so boned, it isn't even funny.

Your only chance now is running away to Mexico and never coming back. Buy a fake moustache, burn all your credit cards and RUN
Why would he be boned 0_o

I can't tell if sarcastic or not
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By zahrah 2011-12-07 13:34:55
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It seems like everything that can be said has been said.

Online dating is just not appealing to me at least. Tangible relationships are much more fulfilling, but then again, I've never tried online dating. I can't imagine it's better than being with some one face-to-face.
 Cerberus.Pukushu
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By Cerberus.Pukushu 2011-12-07 13:37:26
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Assuming you are going to dating websites for the purpose of finding a date and not just conversation, there are a few things you have to do. I'm going to tell the non sexy truth. Dating is sales. First you have to create interest (you seem to be doing a decent job at that). Then you have to move on to the next phase (this is where you are being a little slow). The next phase for each person is different, but there has to be progression in the relationship or it goes away. Someone once said relationships are either growing or dieing.

So if you cant keep interest past 3-4 messages, then you need to make your move by the 2nd-3rd message. Your move could be anything, but very safe, non-creepy things include: asking them to grab coffee/tea sometime, if you have a mutual interest telling them where you will be and asking them if they want to come as well (comic con/baseball game/xgames ect.), or just flat out asking them for their number or a date. If you get their number then you need to ask them to some sort of face to face like the ones I just listed on the 1st or 2nd call.

It is fine to get back in touch with someone after they havnt spoken to you in a while, but make new conversation not the same conversation that you were having. If they tell you stop then by all means stop, but shooting them a message once a month or two with something interesting going on is totally fine.

I would really say the reason that you are not getting messages back after the 3rd time is because you arnt moving the relationship along. Think about it this way, if you go to Game Stop looking for MW# and they person comments on your shirt, then asks you how your day was and tells you about theirs and maybe even tell you how good the graphics are on MW3, but never asks if you want to buy it. How long would you stand around waiting? You would go next door to Target and just buy it. The girls are on the website to find a date. If you arnt asking then they will move on to someone that is asking. That they respond to your messages is a very good indication that you arnt creepy and are interesting. They are showing you interest, but you have to take it to the next step (whatever that is for you).

Here is the other thing. Some will turn you down. But asking isnt hurting you. Not asking is guaranteeing that you dont get a date. You dont seem to be getting past that 3rd message anyway so it isnt hurting anything to ask. Plus they are on the website so that someone will ask them. Why not you?

tldr;
Ask for a date/f2f sooner.
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 Fenrir.Nightfyre
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By Fenrir.Nightfyre 2011-12-07 13:40:02
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Leviathan.Quetzacoatl said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story

Dude, you are so boned, it isn't even funny.

Your only chance now is running away to Mexico and never coming back. Buy a fake moustache, burn all your credit cards and RUN
Why would he be boned 0_o

I can't tell if sarcastic or not
Sometimes these hookups happen because the girl sees the opportunity for a safe, easy relationship in which she can get pretty much whatever she wants because the guy already has her on a pedestal. I don't know if this is the case in this particular situation, but it's probably where Nikolce is coming from.
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2011-12-07 13:46:28
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Leviathan.Quetzacoatl said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story
Dude, you are so boned, it isn't even funny. Your only chance now is running away to Mexico and never coming back. Buy a fake moustache, burn all your credit cards and RUN
Why would he be boned 0_o I can't tell if sarcastic or not

ARE YOU INSANE?! She has him man, hook, line and sinker. He is neck deep and sinking like a stone in clear water. He fell for it like chevy chase down the stairs. ITS OVER JOHNNY!!!

He's already carrying her purse at the mall!!!

/slap

Wake up!
 Leviathan.Quetzacoatl
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By Leviathan.Quetzacoatl 2011-12-07 13:47:34
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Fenrir.Nightfyre said: »
Leviathan.Quetzacoatl said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Phoenix.Dabackpack said: »
story

Dude, you are so boned, it isn't even funny.

Your only chance now is running away to Mexico and never coming back. Buy a fake moustache, burn all your credit cards and RUN
Why would he be boned 0_o

I can't tell if sarcastic or not
Sometimes these hookups happen because the girl sees the opportunity for a safe, easy relationship in which she can get pretty much whatever she wants because the guy already has her on a pedestal. I don't know if this is the case in this particular situation, but it's probably where Nikolce is coming from.
Ahhh, that's understandable. Yeah don't want to get pussywhipped lol

But I'm just looking on the bright side of it, there is probably a legitimate chance that she just might not be greedy. I already have a negative view on dating either way.
 Ragnarok.Crunkie
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By Ragnarok.Crunkie 2011-12-07 13:50:45
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Why are you putting the pussy on a pedestal?~ Like some greek queen pussyliah!

But for real, just be yourself. Lately I have been going with the "Yes Man" attitude just doing whatever comes at me and so far has brought some great success with ladies and getting laid. Try it, what do you got to lose?
 Fenrir.Jinjo
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By Fenrir.Jinjo 2011-12-07 13:52:22
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Requesting topic change to sexism in relationships.

Who cares how the *** a relationship is operating as long as however many involved parties (your blatant sexism is a bit harder when I bring up polygamy isn't it?) are satisfied in the short term?
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 Sylph.Tigerwoods
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By Sylph.Tigerwoods 2011-12-07 13:56:43
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
Most people who label themselves as nerds are really really weird. It's like you have to justify yourself or something, idk. Even if you're not weird, this prejudice is going to stick in their mind and it'll just scare people off.

Or maybe that's just me. But in any case, just say what your interests are, don't call yourself a nerd.
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 Fenrir.Minjo
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By Fenrir.Minjo 2011-12-07 14:19:23
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
I can assure you guys who've been my "guy friend" didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with me

I've been wasting my time?!
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 Carbuncle.Asymptotic
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By Carbuncle.Asymptotic 2011-12-07 14:21:47
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Fenrir.Minjo said: »
Fenrir.Niniann said: »
I can assure you guys who've been my "guy friend" didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with me

I've been wasting my time?!

***, me too.
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 Carbuncle.Asymptotic
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By Carbuncle.Asymptotic 2011-12-07 14:22:39
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
Most people who label themselves as nerds are really really weird. It's like you have to justify yourself or something, idk. Even if you're not weird, this prejudice is going to stick in their mind and it'll just scare people off.

Or maybe that's just me. But in any case, just say what your interests are, don't call yourself a nerd.

My profile says I'm a dweeb!
 Phoenix.Sehachan
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By Phoenix.Sehachan 2011-12-07 14:22:40
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Nini stop training guys to friendzone!
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2011-12-07 14:26:01
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Niniann is close on this one....

JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Labeling yourself = talking about yourself and your not allowing her to delude herself, imagining you fit her own mental image of who you are or should be.

Every man in the history of this world has blown it with a girl that he had eating out of the palm of his hand, failing only because he opened his mouth and ruined the illusion.

There is a quote somewhere on this internet thing that goes something like "It's better to let others think you are an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt"

She knows you're a nerd and a spaz and a geek, just let her dream, if only for that one fleeting moment, that you are enough guy for her.
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 Fenrir.Skarwind
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By Fenrir.Skarwind 2011-12-07 14:33:33
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Ragnarok.Hevans said: »
i usually like to order girls a really expensive drink, and then tell them how much gil i have.

Long Island cup of sweet tea I mean dude they better put out after that.
 Leviathan.Quetzacoatl
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By Leviathan.Quetzacoatl 2011-12-07 14:40:59
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Niniann is close on this one....

JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Labeling yourself = talking about yourself and your not allowing her to delude herself, imagining you fit her own mental image of who you are or should be.

Every man in the history of this world has blown it with a girl that he had eating out of the palm of his hand, failing only because he opened his mouth and ruined the illusion.

There is a quote somewhere on this internet thing that goes something like "It's better to let others think you are an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt"

She knows you're a nerd and a spaz and a geek, just let her dream, if only for that one fleeting moment, that you are enough guy for her.

Well ***, I definitely am doomed then because the OCD in me makes me end up talking about myself <_<;
 Bahamut.Cuelebra
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By Bahamut.Cuelebra 2011-12-07 14:47:04
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Fenrir.Niniann said: »
I can assure you guys who've been my "guy friend" didn't have a snowball's chance in hell

Niniann is right. Most females dont befriend heterosexual males. its just uncommon. Plus if u hang around too many men ur perceived as a *** or tom-boy.

Depending on the age of the female is gonna determine her tactics and goals. Females tactics change in age 20's, 30's 40's etc. U cant generalize females into one category.

Just be upfront. "U interested or not"? if they say no just move along.
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2011-12-07 14:50:17
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Leviathan.Quetzacoatl said: »
Well ***, I definitely am doomed then because the OCD in me makes me end up talking about myself <_<

Make your right hand into a fist, cover it with the palm of your left hand and place it on your lap. This symbolizes your brain. Your right hand is your brain stem, the reptilian leftover basic command module. It tells you to eat, sleep and talk without thinking, etc.

The left hand is your mind, you must use the mind to control your brain to shut up and pretend you are interested in what she is saying.

They are both in your lap so should you fail, you wont have far to reach. Because remember my son, the answer to most girl problems is there at the end of your arm.
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