Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

See, the problem is, I am 100% unmotivated to play FFXI. Number of darns given, approximately zero! It used to be a lot of fun, I used to enjoy it. For the past couple months I've only been un-afk'ing for events and such. I figured when Seekers came out, it would rev me up and get me all excited to play again! Maybe I'd even finish that Almace I started!

Yeah, no. Seekers came out, I was still bored, and still unmotivated, and even worse, I kinda felt like that any effort I put into this update would be overshadowed in the next one. At 75 cap, you could spend trucktons of gil and time getting a relic or a mythic, and later it was overshadowed by emps. Then you could spend some time getting emps, but it's overshadowed as soon as the next big update comes out by delve weapons. And if I bother to go get a delve weapon, the very next big update is going to overshadow that. It kinda feels like there's just no point, no definitive end-goal to work towards.

I mean, if I wanted to play, wanted to go get a delve weapon or whatnot, it would be fine, that WOULD be the point, to go have fun. But it feels more like a chore to go do this stuff, a dreary, necessary chore, and it will be all for naught in the next update (or when I stop playing because, honestly, that's a lot of time spent on a game that could be spent on other things. You know, like other games. xD)

I want a break. A huge, long break, in which no one calls my phone to see if I can lead this event or tell someone that so-and-so will be late. A break where I don't feel obligated in any way to log on at all.

It's like coming home from working all day in real life and going to work all night in-game. I don't wanna!

But how to tell people who depend on me that I'm out? If it's not a permanent out, then they'll be mad when I don't log back in next week. If it is a permanent out, they will be mad that I don't come back ever. If the ls was big or had a lot of folks in it, it wouldn't be so bad. But there's a small nucleus of 5-6 players who are dependable for every event, and my husband and I are two of them. D:

What do.

Edit: Oops page!