President Trump is not a Republican
/step up to the podium
Thank you Saevel... and many thanks to the global cadre of evil for letting me deliver this definitive statement on one donald j. trump... /clears throat
President Donald Trump is a
AMERICAN TELEVISION GAME SHOW HOST
/waits while that sinks in
no offense to Bob Barker or Chuck Woolery and company. but sadly they are probably also not qualified to be the president either... And neither was obama for that matter... but we'll get back to that one in a minute...or quite frankly a lot of other people who have held the office.
MY FELLOW AMERICANS it is each and every single one of us who were of voting age last November's
FAULT. No Not One of Us is exempt from the blame it is all ALL of our own fault.
Of course fixing the blame doesn't get us any closer to solving the problem. And the problem is really quite serious. We, the royal we, as in we, all americans, each and every single one of us everywhere...are a bunch of gullible idiots.
We continuously, perpetually, ritualistically fall for it like a pack of blind rubes playing three card monte at a grifter convention... every. stinking. election.
We believe in our hearts and in our minds every lie these candidates tell us. and...Who knows.. maybe they believe the lies themselves... they don't appear to be any brighter than the rest of us.
Political part affiliation doesn't even matter. We believed obama when he said he would fundamentally change washington and we believed trump... Hell we even believed Ross Perot until he started muttering about ninjas attacking his daughter's wedding. Unless we go back to the sovereign rule of a single all powerful monarch
NOBODY IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
WE ARE IDIOTS and god bless us we really are... just the slowest learners ever. We're the perfect mark and every con man's wet dream because
We Want So Very Badly To Believe
It's almost been an entire year now and still
Everyone is either wide eyed and hopefully optimistic or horrifically terrified shitting in their nests that some big change is coming on the horizon...
We need to stop.
just shop as usual and avoid panic buying
So three things about change 1. Change is happening constantly whether we like it or not 2. It's a coin flip as to whether or not it will be considered good change over the long haul and 3. leave it to a cynical frenchman, Alphonse Karr the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And here is the best part.
It doesn't matter. We have had presidents on the grim cusp of brain death and we're still fine...relatively speaking... Not only are you probably never going to see a president except on television but your life isn't going to be seriously impacted by their actions or inaction either.
You're still going to get up every morning, ***shower and shave, go to work like a chump and then come home and complain
I have been listening to it for fifty years. The names of the groups change slightly over time...sometimes it's the 1 percent, sometimes it's pharmadouche, sometimes it's illegal immigrants... My life or X sucks because of Y and probably Z
We'll I've got some goodbad news for you sunshine. Your life is already a hundred billion times better than you deserve. Because as americans we aren't just stupid to the point of easy distraction and as easily deceived as a newborn baby we are also completely unrepentant ***.
SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP FOR FIVE MINUTES and take a deep breath and a good look around you because we are also some of the dumb luckiest unwarrantedly miserable sons of *** ever to live.
I ate taiwanese seafood in louisville at a restaurant my son found on his cell phone while I was driving 80 miles an hour through kentucky in an air conditioned SUV.... less than a hundred years ago My grandmother grew up without electricity or running water on a farm where she ate whatever food her mother made every day from what they grew or traded for on their weekly horsedrawn buggy ride to church on sunday. So stop complaining.
Chances are pretty good that donald trump isn't the savior or the antichrist that we're all hopefully/fearfully waiting for but it doesn't matter if he is because we're too stupid to notice the difference ANYWAYS.
If we could all just stop cheering at the rally or gloating when he says something dumb on twitter and take a moment to realize
Joseph de Maistre was dead on when he said
"Every country has the government it deserves"
We the people
deserved this in every sense of the word this is our penance. this is our karmic retribution. this is our fault and this is the bounty of our harvest. We sowed nothing but fear and complaining and bitching and finger pointing at each other and this is our just reward this is our president this is the wages of our sins. this is our cross to bear. At least try to have the dignity to do so in silent reflection.
AMEN