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 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 10:48:48
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It also is usually cheaper for one person to be on the other's health insurance plan as opposed to both having individual coverage.

I suppose you could technically be "domestic partners" and possibly get on the same plan, but I don't know if that's always possible with every plan
 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-03-24 11:02:41
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Honor died sometime in the 70's. no one gives a ***.
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 Shiva.Spathaian
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By Shiva.Spathaian 2017-03-24 11:02:57
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
Shiva.Spathaian said: »
Lolserj, here's the thing.

Nik is all about his word, his honour.

To him marriage has nothing to do with love or any of that nonsense.

Marriage to him is a promise, one that he believes to be of incredibly high importance to keep no matter what.

He cares little about anything else except what he agreed to on the day of his marriage.

You're basically fighting a battle against opinion, which started because of your own opinion upon Nik's opinion upon your opinion.

Basically, Nik don't give a ***, he's keeping his word. If he doesn't, he has dishonoured himself and his family and shall commit seppuku. Because that is the honourable thing to do.

That's cool, let him do his thing. Because his view of marriage has nothing to do with "conventional" marriage views. His view of marriage is completely on his view of promise keeping and honour.

I mean I don't care what Nik does, if he wants to stay in the marriage until death or whatever

But having such a negative opinion of people who get divorced is, in my opinion, a little ridiculous
You have to think about it differently.

Nik isn't simply saying "those who get divorced are terrible" his actual opinion is more "People who make promises they can't keep are terrible and they should think more about what they're doing before making such promises."

Again, to Nik it's not about the actual marriage itself, it's about the promise the marriage represents and whether someone should actually be agreeing to something they don't fully intend to uphold during the ceremony.

His thoughts on marriage/divorce don't just stem from marriage itself, it stems from promise-keeping and being honourable. While I don't fully agree with it, he's actually not entirely wrong to think that way.
 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 11:15:55
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Shiva.Spathaian said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
Shiva.Spathaian said: »
Lolserj, here's the thing.

Nik is all about his word, his honour.

To him marriage has nothing to do with love or any of that nonsense.

Marriage to him is a promise, one that he believes to be of incredibly high importance to keep no matter what.

He cares little about anything else except what he agreed to on the day of his marriage.

You're basically fighting a battle against opinion, which started because of your own opinion upon Nik's opinion upon your opinion.

Basically, Nik don't give a ***, he's keeping his word. If he doesn't, he has dishonoured himself and his family and shall commit seppuku. Because that is the honourable thing to do.

That's cool, let him do his thing. Because his view of marriage has nothing to do with "conventional" marriage views. His view of marriage is completely on his view of promise keeping and honour.

I mean I don't care what Nik does, if he wants to stay in the marriage until death or whatever

But having such a negative opinion of people who get divorced is, in my opinion, a little ridiculous
You have to think about it differently.

Nik isn't simply saying "those who get divorced are terrible" his actual opinion is more "People who make promises they can't keep are terrible and they should think more about what they're doing before making such promises."

Again, to Nik it's not about the actual marriage itself, it's about the promise the marriage represents and whether someone should actually be agreeing to something they don't fully intend to uphold during the ceremony.

His thoughts on marriage/divorce don't just stem from marriage itself, it stems from promise-keeping and being honourable. While I don't fully agree with it, he's actually not entirely wrong to think that way.

It's an opinion, and he is entitled to it. I don't think he is right or wrong in that aspect, I just have a different opinion

I don't think one is more right or wrong than the other, it isn't like we're trying to solve for x here.

I just don't like putting people down for things like getting a divorce, it's such a little thing. And really in certain situations, like say a situation where you're yelling at each other or hitting each other in front of your kids, it's probably better for everyone involved in that marriage for it to just end. In a case like that I would say not going back on your promise is less honorable than breaking it
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By Nadleeh Sakurai 2017-03-24 11:17:02
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By Nadleeh Sakurai 2017-03-24 12:21:41
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:22:16
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I'm with Nik.

Asura.Lolserj said: »
And I suppose it's also a declaration of love in a way

This right here is the problem.

You "suppose"..."in a way."

I have absolutely nothing against people who live together for decades and don't get married. Who make no vows. If situations change, you've -- by the absence of vows thusfar -- tacitly agreed that it's an at-will situation.

But once you make your promise, you bloody well keep it.

As for your *** cutting situation, well. If you married someone who has potential to become a *** cutter, it's really on you. You either primero: rushed into things not realizing the possibility, segundo: did something equally bad (in fact or perceived) to trigger said act or tercero: knew of the possibility but threw caution into the wind like so much confetti after a sports championship.
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:22:56
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
I just don't like putting people down for things like getting a divorce, it's such a little thing.

There's the fundamental difference in thinking.

It's not a little thing. It's a very big thing to some folk.

Your justifications for the act are things that should have been considered.

And I say this is more relevant today than ever. It is considered far more socially acceptable now to be an unwed couple with a child. It is far more okay to be single or dating in perpetuity.

I'd say in today's social climate -- in the U.S. in any case -- if you get divorced, you're exiting a situation you entered into freely and by your own will. Arranged marriages are surely still occasionally an issue, but not nearly to the extent they were even a scant lifetime ago.
 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 12:25:39
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Ramyrez said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
I just don't like putting people down for things like getting a divorce, it's such a little thing.

There's the fundamental difference in thinking.

It's not a little thing. It's a very big thing to some folk.

So then they can not get a divorce

Who cares if someone that isn't you gets one, it doesn't effect them at all
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:26:16
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Siren.Mosin said: »
Honor died sometime in the 70's. no one gives a ***.

Don't underestimate the power of Nik whipping parker into a resurrection. Frankenhonor. And the Bride of Frankenhonor, even, to stay topical!
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 12:26:39
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Siren.Mosin said: »
Honor died sometime in the 70's. no one gives a ***.

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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:29:43
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
Ramyrez said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
I just don't like putting people down for things like getting a divorce, it's such a little thing.

There's the fundamental difference in thinking.

It's not a little thing. It's a very big thing to some folk.

So then they can not get a divorce

Who cares if someone that isn't you gets one, it doesn't effect them at all

Who cares about anything?

My personal beliefs apply to me and those who choose to directly inject themselves into my life, with or without invitation.

We're just discussing this particular take on the topic on the internet because clearly we're killing time on a Friday afternoon.
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 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 12:32:33
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Ramyrez said: »
As for your *** cutting situation, well. If you married someone who has potential to become a *** cutter, it's really on you. You either primero: rushed into things not realizing the possibility, segundo: did something equally bad (in fact or perceived) to trigger said act or tercero: knew of the possibility but threw caution into the wind like so much confetti after a sports championship.

I mean sometimes it isn't exactly obvious that someone is going to become a *** cutter

Sometimes people who seem completely fine have problems under the surface and can seem to snap

Sometimes you can catch those things, but you might be in a relationship with someone for years before finally realizing that something is wrong with them

It sounds like you're saying that people basically shouldn't get married because "you never know", especially if getting divorced is such a big issue
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 12:34:51
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
Who cares if someone that isn't you gets one,

I don't care.

But I also won't believe anything anyone who has ever gotten a divorce tells me. People that get divorces are untrustworthy because they have no honor.

they made a promise. the biggest promise that can be made and they broke that promise. It doesn't matter how or why.

I also don't ride in cars with a driver that would ever drive drunk.

Because they are self centered *** that don't care about anyone else. So they sure as hell don't care about my safety, so I don't get in the car when they are driving
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 Shiva.Spathaian
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By Shiva.Spathaian 2017-03-24 12:37:53
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It actually sounds more like they're saying that people should think more about those types of possibilities before entering marriage to decide whether you can truly keep that promise if it does happen.

Neither of them are saying don't get married because people don't change, they're saying that people need to understand that people can and do change and that NOTHING is outside the realm of possibility. That people need to look more at themselves and the future and decide if they are truly ready for ANYTHING when it comes to that person/relationship and if not, then look towards a different route of having a "special relationship."
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 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 12:38:09
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
Who cares if someone that isn't you gets one,

I don't care.

But I also won't believe anything anyone who has ever gotten a divorce tells me. People that get divorces are untrustworthy because they have no honor.

they made a promise. the biggest promise that can be made and they broke that promise. It doesn't matter how or why.

Sure as hell sounds like you care if someone has gotten a divorce or not


Shiva.Nikolce said: »
I also don't ride in cars with a driver that would ever drive drunk.

Because they are self centered *** that don't care about anyone else. So they sure as hell don't care about my safety, so I don't get in the car when they are driving

This makes more sense, but what about people that used to drive drunk and have since reformed?
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 12:42:18
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
This makes more sense,

it's the exact same principle.

don't lend money to gamblers
never trust a junkie with anything you can't bear to lose

they're all simple concepts
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:43:03
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
It sounds like you're saying that people basically shouldn't get married because "you never know", especially if getting divorced is such a big issue

I'm speaking in a grandiose fashion because I'm bored as ***.

All I'm really saying is don't rush into marriage. I think it happens entirely too frequently.

Definitely don't get married before 25 or so no matter how much you love someone.

There's medical and psychological evidence to back that up. You literally aren't the same person at 25 you were at 18. That age range is when things like psychoses and other psychological disorders tend to form. Which is where a lot of the "S/he turned into a different person!" comes from in people who wed young.

Well, major depressive disorder or schizophrenia will do that!

I've been with my wife since I was 15. But we were in our 30s before we were married. And I can tell you that while we're still together, that's a combination of a few things. The two primary things being 1) our childhood-to-adult brain changes happened to be compatible as they were in the first place (rare) and 2) we've always been willing to work through things. Luckily we don't have a lot of "things" to work through, but the happiest of marriages will have a few no matter what.

It's not that I would ever advise someone to not marry someone they love. I'd just advise someone to consider the difference between long-term relationships and marriage, and all the positive and negative consequences.

Same as anything else, really.
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 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 12:44:24
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
This makes more sense,

it's the exact same principle.

don't lend money to gamblers
never trust a junkie with anything you can't bear to lose

they're all simple concepts

You're making a couple leaps in your logic to say that not trusting a person who has gotten a divorce is the same principle as not lending money to a gambler
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:45:02
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
You're making a couple leaps in your logic to say that not trusting a person who has gotten a divorce is the same principle as not lending money to a gambler

One could philosophize that they're one in the same person.

 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 12:52:33
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
You're making a couple leaps in your logic to say that not trusting a person who has gotten a divorce is the same principle as not lending money to a gambler

I'm coming straight out of compton

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ok no but I'm coming at you straight from the future Jimbo!!!

I'm pushing fifty, been married for twenty five years, raised four kids to adulthood, I have been around the block a few times.

And here I am. and I'm telling you, from a lifetime of personal experiance dealing with people there are some simple truths.

people that break their word well they're word can't be trusted can it word breaking broken *** word breakers!!!
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By Nadleeh Sakurai 2017-03-24 12:56:53
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someone wake me up when this wedding thing ends.

ill just sit in this corner eating cookies and napping on cat-couch
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 12:58:19
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Nadleeh Sakurai said: »
someone wake me up when this wedding thing ends.

ill just sit in this corner eating cookies and napping on cat-couch

PARKER Edit: DPF Protocol activated

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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 12:58:59
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Nadleeh Sakurai said: »
someone wake me up when this wedding thing ends.

ill just sit in this corner eating cookies and napping on cat-couch

What a perfectly catty response!

 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 13:00:20
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 13:00:50
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-03-24 13:01:09
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 Asura.Lolserj
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By Asura.Lolserj 2017-03-24 13:03:55
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Asura.Lolserj said: »
You're making a couple leaps in your logic to say that not trusting a person who has gotten a divorce is the same principle as not lending money to a gambler

I'm coming straight out of compton

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ok no but I'm coming at you straight from the future Jimbo!!!

I'm pushing fifty, been married for twenty five years, raised four kids to adulthood, I have been around the block a few times.

And here I am. and I'm telling you, from a lifetime of personal experiance dealing with people there are some simple truths.

people that break their word well they're word can't be trusted can it word breaking broken *** word breakers!!!

I've just always had the belief that no matter what people will be acting in their own best interest and not my own, and that's how I typically imagine people I'm interacting with to be

especially Spath
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By Ramyrez 2017-03-24 13:14:24
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Asura.Lolserj said: »
I've just always had the belief that no matter what people will be acting in their own best interest and not my own, and that's how I typically imagine people I'm interacting with to be

Which may not be the most unhealthy way to approach life.

But you have to consider that different people have different ideas of what their own best interest is.
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By Nadleeh Sakurai 2017-03-24 13:21:53
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TL:DR: People dont always make the best decisions or have the best ideas.
point in case:

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