Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

wat a woman

tell me more.

Thinking it's Friday, I ain't got nowhere to be. I got coffee, jammies, hubby's getting Mcdonald's for dinner. Gonna be a good night.

ewwwww mcdonalds

coffee AND jammies!
you are living the life mrs. warbucks.

Mcdonald's may be ew, but it's cheap and I didn't have to cook it or go get it! In the end, I win!

just cus i like dudes doesn't make me a woman D:

Random thoughts today... Sidi, Princessrin and I need to move to the same server. That idea seems to be getting better and better!

On another note, nuts to "paying it forward". There is someone on my LS that I will never help again. Grrr!

Grrr!

I wish I was off if work!!

Gotta get down on Friday

Bah, just got word that my grandfather was moved from his home with my cousins living there with him to a hospice home for nursing care. My aunt and uncle were told that his liver is giving out and he probably only has about a month left. Please Gramps, hold on until after Finals Week, please, so I can go say goodbye to you. :-(

that really sucks :/

just don't let it get you down too much, I mean I assume he is older and that's what happens when you get old.

just saying it so you don't get overwhelmed by it and end up hurting your grades and stuff :/

Thanks, Lolserj. It really is time for him to go. He's had a rough time with cancer, and he's not been himself since my Gran died. As much as I am too selfish to admit it, he would be in less suffering if he went now. Thanks for reminding me that he really is old, and it's just the life cycle. I needed to hear that.

For a seedless watermelon... there sure is a lot of seeds.

***, I need more beer.

Ouch :( I know how that feels.

My great aunt fought a Motor Neuron disease for about a year and we knew there was no way she could survive. I remember going to see her every day after school and watching her slowly wasting away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I remember she could barely talk at the end, but she always knew who I was even though she was in great pain and everything.

I think the only time I ever cried about it (even though I wanted to) was when we were clearing out her house after she had died and I found a book half read. Silly thing, but I was really gutted.

Anyway enough with my depressing stories, I hope everything goes ok with you.

I received word that he passed this morning. He had testicular cancer, liver cancer, Alzheimer's, extensive hearing loss, and his wife that he'd adored since... uh, before WWII is dead as well, my gran. I know he's not suffering physically and mentally anymore and not missing her anymore, so for that I'm glad.

But honestly, I feel like the shittiest granddaughter around. Since I had learned he had Alzheimer's and couldn't even remember my father, I knew he wouldn't remember me so I stopped writing to him. I thought it would just confuse and upset him to keep hearing from a girl he wouldn't remember. So after a few years of not writing, a cousin told me yesterday that he kept a picture of my husband and I and was always talking to the other cousins about what we might be up to. He remembered me and missed me and wanted to know what I was doing. And I never even wrote. God, I hate me sometimes.

mmm sushi

I'm sorry for your loss.

And... As hard as this will be... Don't beat yourself up over it. What you did, you did out of love for him, not writing to him was what you did to try and keep him from being confused. It was a hard decision for you and you shouldn't blame yourself for it.

After a death we all feel like we could have and should have done more to be with them before it happened, but that's the kicker with hindsight, we don't know until it's too late. There's no point in hurting yourself when the grief will be hurting you too, nothing that you could have done would have changed anything.

Take this as one of those things that happened, and try to pull anything good you can from it. Try to pull a life lesson from it and don't beat yourself up too hard for things that have already happened. There are far worse people out there who steal and hurt their grandparents and your grandad knew you loved him even if you didn't explicitly tell him all the time. Him holding a picture of you is proof of that.

You have to carry the burden of grief for the next little while, don't carry the burden of guilt too.

my friend kicked me from vent cause ffvii isnt my favorite ff :(

And I'm sorry, I'm not articulate at all today my head is well and truly full of *** :/

im thinking i need to setup an addition to the caribbean live webcam ring... nobody has a shot of the cruise ships leaving at night, oasis of the seas included! its a spectacle, believe you me.

I'm thinking why I purchased Super Street Fighter IV.
Ugh I freaking dislike this game. Silly me.

Thanks, Flion. Just having a place to spill it and people here who understand is helpful. <3 I know he wouldn't want me to feel guilty, and he'd probably understand about me not wanting to confuse him. He had to have known I loved him. He had to.

Let's do cheer up, I am emo'ing up the thread. Sushi is amazing, Lolserj. I adore California rolls, crab meat is my favorite! California Crunch sushi rolls are fabulous too.

And Kungfuhustle, what you need is whiskey and rum, sir. They will do the trick FAR better than beer, while tasting 800x better throughout. Beer is bitter and disgusting and has a horrible aftertaste, but whiskey and rum are sweet and delicious! When you come to Odin I will explain to you all about whiskey and rum!

Erang, those videos would be cool. I've never seen a cruise ship at all, you must post them if you take those vids.

Yes, honestly don't feel badly about how things worked out...I think it is just a combination of circumstance and human nature that caused you to be a bit distant at the end.

My grandmother on my mom's side had Alzheimer's and when she went back (to Taiwan) to be with her, her mom didn't even recognise her. It was very painful for her, being treated like a stranger by her mom...enough so that she didn't want to go back at all again later because, although she wanted to be there for her as her health deteriorated, she knew it would only add to her confused state. Certainly that didn't end up being the case here for you, but your initial reluctance to have gone visit is *very* understandable and very human nature, really. Don't beat yourself up over it...it wasn't being selfish or self-centred so much as it was being a normal person (who just wasn't aware of all the circumstances.) :/

My own dad passed away while I was on a business trip in Las Vegas NV...he was hospitalised on the last day I was there, and I was always second-guessing whether I should have just canceled and adjusted my flight so I could have gotten back to see him. But in the end, it was all second-guessing...I couldn't have known at the time how things would have worked out, and if I were in that same situation again, I'd probably make the same exact decision.

In your case, you had finals and had you known all of this in advance you could have done things differently--but how were you to know? So don't feel guilty...just cherish the memories you have because that's the important part anyhow no?

Actually I think the hospital wins that one in the end.

Random thought... if that Rebecca Black chick is 13, why is she getting in a car with other kids who are 13?

Today is thursday... thursday~
Tomorrow i-is FRIDAY FRIDAY!!!

We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today!