Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?
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Random Thoughts.....What are you thinking?
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 Bismarck.Dracondria
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By Bismarck.Dracondria 2017-02-28 22:34:16
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I dunno, maybe I'm just weird, but sending someone an email wishing them well but not actually wanting to talk to them is kinda odd

I'd just not send it if I wasn't interested in anything more than that


Bismarck.Josiahfk said: »
despite however neutral I may make myself.
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 Valefor.Prothescar
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By Valefor.Prothescar 2017-02-28 22:42:38
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[internal screaming]

it attacked me before i started recording
 Bismarck.Dracondria
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By Bismarck.Dracondria 2017-02-28 22:45:03
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Josiahkf said: »
Bismarck.Dracondria said: »
I dunno, maybe I'm just weird, but sending someone an email wishing them well but not actually wanting to talk to them is kinda odd

I'd just not send it if I wasn't interested in anything more than that
Imagine yourself caring about someone's wellbeing though without desiring dialogue. Do you just stay silent forever if they randomly enter your thoughts one time? Even knowing beforehand that they'd likely get a smile out of that occurrence and concern?

If I don't actually want to talk to them I wouldn't say anything.

Not because I don't care about the person, I just don't feel like talking. If I do feel like it though I'll send a message and then it's up to them if they want to talk.

But if I'm "apathetic towards talking to them" then I wouldn't send a message in the first place.
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 Valefor.Prothescar
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By Valefor.Prothescar 2017-02-28 22:49:46
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[crying intensifies]
 
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 Ohji Lunartail
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By Ohji Lunartail 2017-02-28 22:58:31
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 Valefor.Prothescar
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By Valefor.Prothescar 2017-02-28 23:02:47
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made it to Weebville
 
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 Yomisha
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By Yomisha 2017-03-01 02:13:11
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I'm cleaning out old bookmarks because I have entirely too many things saved that I won't ever need. Then I ran into something that was made of gold, albeit tarnished... but gold! The what kind of girl/guy do you like thread, lol. Funny that I saved that. Ooooh boy.
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 Ragnarok.Hevans
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By Ragnarok.Hevans 2017-03-01 03:41:49
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Yomisha said: »
I'm cleaning out old bookmarks because I have entirely too many things saved that I won't ever need. Then I ran into something that was made of gold, albeit tarnished... but gold! The what kind of girl/guy do you like thread, lol. Funny that I saved that. Ooooh boy.


the good old days.
 Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2017-03-01 04:17:50
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Talking to someone whom you may not have spoken to in a long time can always be uncomfortable, regardless of how the two left each other. Genuine care means wanting to talk to someone, hear them out. What you're doing instead is actually more selfish, although without realizing it; it's one of those self-rewarding behaviours, like doing an act of generousity only to feel better with one's own conscience(ie giving a few cents to a clochard without even looking at them).
Unless this person is really waiting for you to send a message, don't bother, you will only cause discomfort. Or bother, but properly.
 Wordspoken
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By Wordspoken 2017-03-01 05:19:09
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Bloodrose said: »
He wants to care. From a distance, where no one can see him and how much he cares.
So like Batman?
 
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 Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2017-03-01 06:36:02
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If you don't care sending them a message is hypocritical.
 
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 Asura.Ina
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By Asura.Ina 2017-03-01 06:43:53
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Before asking anything else you should be asking whether or not they'd want to hear from you, since you said you'd had a falling out. If they do everything else is fluff, if not you might be better off doing nothing. For some people a broken friendship is better left in the past.

Edit: That might sound harsh but I'm saying this as someone who's been on the receiving end of what your aiming for and it's not always a good thing to have someone just pop back into your life.
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 Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2017-03-01 06:50:58
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Bismarck.Josiahfk said: »
But more importantly I don't want my concern or care for someone to create a feeling of (social) obligation to me, for dialogue or attention etc
Caring for someone also requires letting them have an involvement. For example in couples if one only gives and never takes anything, superficially some people think that's very generous, but that never works out instead because the other person is not investing into the relationship. When someone isn't able to do that then they feel left out, they can never develop a stronger relationship and eventually they split.

It might be true that you have to give if you want to take, but the opposite is true as well.

Bismarck.Josiahfk said: »
Regardless of my own personal apathy or a lack of need towards dialogue. I see care also as a tool that can be manipulated if one desires, so I put strong effort towards never behaving in that manner.
This is a separate subject.
 
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 Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2017-03-01 07:15:57
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By involvement I didn't mean a literal activity of some kind. I meant emotionally. I thought my example had been clear enough..it's about not monopolizing the giving part.

Also I never said that's ALL caring is, I said it is one of the requirements for something to work.
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