If You Were An NM What Abilities Would U Use?

If you were a Notorious Monster wat kind of Abilities spells and tricks wouldja have? Wat would u drop.

For me

I would have Warpga II- basically homepointing whoever it hit.

Draw-out: Basically like draw in but randomly teleports u sumwhere in the map. (single target)

And Retributive Aura- Aura effect that effects players out to 5 yalms.
Inflicts damage i take on effected players.

for TP moves i would have

White out- causes all players to lose current target and disengage
low dmg
range 30 yalms

Confusion- temporarily causes all attacks to effect nearby players as well. Range 15 yalms duration 10-15 seconds.

My atma would be Atma of the Angry Galka- 15% atk superior fire attack 15% chance to retaliate damage taken.

My drop would be Zeid's Mask (always wished i could wear it cuz it looks cool) stats everything +6 (i dunno dont care on stats jus being silly)

Phyrexius' lunacy - I would rape you in the ear with nonsensical ramblings about the CIA until you were driven so insane you would walk away rather than continue on and try to get my drop.

If I was a shitty thread.. what subject would I be about?

Woulda been more interesting if it was about what you'd drop.
But I'll play along.

Middle Finger - Knockback effect
Facepalm - Defense down to target
Lol - Attack down on target
Awesome Face - Attribute increase on self
Forever Alone - DEF up but ATK down on self
Derp - 50% chance of flee effect or self inflicted damage
*** Your Couch - Humiliation and loss of 50,000 gil.
Cheezburger - HP recovery


Or something like that..

Bowserx readies *** Cyclone.

Bowserx uses *** Cyclone.

Shinryu is Mushroom Stamped.

My only TP ability would be troll sauce. Renders everyone within 100 yalms terrorized for 30 minutes.

Death spikes and reflect.

Trollja - no drops to NA / EU players

BUT FACEPALM IS SELF-TARGET :O

Super turtle stomp.

You'll regret those times of "lolgenbu"....

Spawn items: Sushi, Tizona, Apocalypse

How to spawn: Trade items to ??? by fountain in Bastok Markets. You shall be asked if you want to enter the battlefield for "Last of the Beards."

The battlefield: A large circular arena made of stone surrounded by a forest. A moat prohibits you from exiting the arena.

The fight:
Dameshi - HP 97000

Which sushi you trade determines which job the enemy is, and certain stipulations.

Crab sushi - DRK. DEX and INT are lowered for party.
Fin sushi - DRK. Ninjitsu locked.
Squid sushi - DRK. ACC & RACC are lowered.
Octopus sushi - DRK. 2hr abilities are locked. Attack & RATK are reduced.
Salmon sushi - COR. Crit rate reduced.
Sole sushi - COR. Max MP is lowered.
Tuna sushi - COR. AGI and VIT are lowered.
Urchin sushi - BLU. TP gain is lowered.
Fatty Tuna sushi - BLU. Gain 3 MP a tick, lose 12 HP a tick.
Dorado sushi - BLU. STR & INT are reduced.
Tentacle sushi - BLU. 10k extra health for the enemy.
Carp sushi - SCH. MND and INT are reduced.
Bream sushi - SCH. Blue & Black magic are locked.
Shrimp sushi - SCH. Magic defense & resistances reduced.

Description of battle based on job:
DRK - Wields a scythe, so naturally a high delay with high damage. Casts absorb TP on party member with most tp every 30 seconds. Has a high double attack rate and will spam Insurgency. Uses Drain, Drain II, and Drain III as well as Aspir and Aspir II. He'll also cast dread spikes every 90 seconds.

At 75% HP - begins using stun every 10-20 seconds.

At 50% HP - Uses berserk. Double attack rate also increases.

At 35% HP - Uses Catastrophe instead of Insurgency. Uses Last resort, giving a big haste increase.

At 25% HP - Uses Souleater and Blood weapon.

At 10% HP - Uses weapon bash. It's AOE and hits anyone near the tank. 12 second stun, nullifies shadows.

BLU - Dual wields swords for an average delay and above average damage. Casts Quad. Continuum, Benthic Typhoon, Goblin Rush, Radiant Breath, Heat Breath, and Everyone's Grudge. Uses Expiacion and Sanguine Blade. Will buff with Animating Wail, Cocoon, Diamond Hide, Zephyr Mantle, and Saline Coat when the battlefield is entered. He will reapply buffs occasionally as needed.

At 70% HP - Begins using headbutt.

50% - Uses Plenilune Embrace. It heals for about 9000.

30% - Uses Efflux + Chain Affinity + Quad. Continuum.

20% - Uses Pleninlune Embrace.

10% - Uses Azure Lore and begins to spam spells until dead.

COR - Dual-wields daggers. Will engage the tank, but will not approach. Uses ranged attacks for damage. Will use Quick Draw every 30-40 seconds, including light shot to sleep party members. Uses various rolls, based on damage taken and damage given. Uses Slug Shot. This fight has some luck elements to it. Always starts the fight with Chaos Roll and Samurai Roll. Occasionally shots deal double damage. High critical hit rate.

Every 10% - Uses an ability called shuffle. It swaps players' enmity levels with each other. There is no way to predict who gets swapped with who.

At 45% will use Random Deal - May reset Phantom Roll, Quick Draw, or Shuffle. He will use whichever is reset immediately.

At 35% uses Triple Shot.

At 25% uses Ninja roll and Magus roll. Though the effect is based on the number rolled, they both have increased potency.

At 15% uses Wild Card - This CAN restore his HP, so you might get very unlucky (and angry).

SCH - Wields a staff. Casts tier 5 nukes, cures, and enfeebles. Has a surprisingly high evasion for a SCH, must be the power of the beard. Starts with Protect, Shell, Stoneskin, Blink, Aquaveil, and Voidstorm. Has a high amount of fast cast.

Every 5% he casts Sleep II on a party member at random. If the sleep is resisted, he casts Sleep on a different party member.

Every 30 seconds uses Alacrity or Celerity based on which arts is up.

Every minute switches between dark and light arts, thus switching from nuking to healing and vice versa.

Randomly he will use a storm spell then manifestation + the helix associated with the storm's element.

At 50% he uses manifestation + drain.

At 25% he uses tabula rasa and begins spamming spells and stratagems. These can include healing spells and enfeebles. Poison pots are encouraged, as manifestation + sleep can be used.

Now what you've all been waiting for. THE LOOT!

Upon losing - The person who traded the items has their Tizona and Apocalypse returned to them. That would be ridiculous otherwise. The sushi is lost ;_;

Upon victory! - The owner of the Apocalypse and Tizona will get a small cutscene that the other chumps party members miss out on. Dameshi will reraise and come over to congratulate the victor on his/her battle well fought. He will then pluck a hair from his beard and give it to the victor as a momento (and a key item!). In exchange for a fun battle, Dameshi will offer to enhance the winner's weapons. They may choose 2 of the following augments to put on both the weapons.

+25 Attack / + 5 ACC, + 20 ACC / + 5 STR, 10 MACC / 10 magic attack bonus, 15 MACC, 15 Magic attack bonus, 35 Attack, 30 ACC, +65 HP / +65 MP, + 15 STR, + 15 DEX, + 3 Haste / +2% double attack, 5% double attack, 5% haste, Additional Effect: Refresh(5 mp/tick), Additional Effect: Regen (20 hp/tick).
After that, a chest appears in the middle. When opened, 6 beard masks appear (explained what they are below). Then since I've gotten lazy now, AF3 seals for any job can drop. Even multiple of the same seal can drop. Also Marinara pizza is known to drop quite frequently.
Beard mask - Head, race any, job any, level 1 - No stats, but looks like the male hume beard.

To anyone who read this whole thing: I thank you and applaude your mental constitution. Also, doesn't the COR fight sound fun?

and you do nothing else.. For 29 minutes.. then you ready troll sauce again?!

My hits would have "added effect: Takes 100 gil"

Ability: "Removes your main job and you'd be sub lv /45"

D2ga upon death for the trolz

I get a bonus 1000 damage on any character that doesn't have horse KI from Odin.
Upon death regardless how fast my health is zerged to 0 I will say in /say "Say hello to your chatting partner in hell!" and anyone within sight range of me will die unless they shout "I have a horse!"

Anything the alli fighting me did, I would learn to do. Sort of like reflect. Like, if your war used Aggressor, I would learn and be able to use aggressor to help hit a shadow tank. If your thf used mug, I would learn and use it on random people in your alli. If your mnk used counterstance, I would learn and use it. Sam used meditate? Sweet, now I can meditate!

Of course, I would probably also be puny, so by the time I learned anything I'd be half dead. But it would be fun!

I don't know what my drops would be, though. /thinks*

I would use charm... on myself

Rinomaru the Meme

Weaponskills:
Epic Beard man: 1shots any blackmages or Darkknights with in 15'
*** yeah: Gains a potent 10/tick regain over 1min.
Challenge Accepted: PD-50% for 1.5min.
FFFFFUUUUUUU: Mijin Gakure, with reraise HP sets to 50%(only use under 50%)
Trollface: Full drops, after lotting on them and obtaining them you get distilled water.(only use under 25%)
Rage Wolf: Boost 999attack for 1 hit, cant be dispelled or stolen.
Philosoraptor: INT/MND/CHR down AoE
Pedobear: Charms taru within 20'
Forever Alone: Only the person with most enmity can attack for 1min.

Drops Atma of the Meme God: Quadruple attack(5%), Deathtouch(1%), TreasureHunter -1
6 Seals of (any job): Body
2 Ardor pieces (any)
Meme chest plate (Lv99 Def:99 +30 all stats, TH-1, Subtle blow-10, StoreTP+10, +20acc -5atk. Enchantment: Rage Wolf 1/1 24:00:00, :10

So, I currently have LOTS OF TIME because I'm camping Hovering Hotpot. Anyway, I made up this awful TL;DR list of me as a NM which no one will read!

Spells:
White Magic: Banishga IV, Holy II, Protect V, Shell V, Slowga, Paralyga
Blue Magic: Charged Whisker, Mind Blast (AoE), Temporal Shift, Everyone's Grudge (AoE)
Black Magic: Burst II (AoE), Dispelga, Impact, Meteor (Below 25%)

Dances: Curing Waltz V, Healing Waltz, Haste Samba, Steps

Passive Traits:
***Undispellable spikes based on the element of the last successfully cast spell.

*Light: Gives a light-elemental spikes effect (Low damage) with an occasional additional effect of Weakness+Encumberance. This additional effect has a low proc rate.
*Dark: Dread Spikes
*Thunder: Shock Spikes (High damage)
*Earth: Petrifactive Spikes (low proc rate)
*Ice: Ice spikes (High damage)

***High triple attack rate, but physical attacks aren't incredibly powerful (Daggers).
***Very high attack speed.
***Reflects physical damage while readying a TP move
***Reflects magical damage while casting a spell

*****TP Moves:

**Laplace Transform: Invokes arcane mathematical techniques to sharply raise magic attack and charm players in range, giving them a random costume.

**Inverse Laplace Transform: Absorbs HP of all charmed targets in range, sacrificing them, then unleashes a powerful light-elemental attack proportional to the amount of HP absorbed on the player with the most hate.

**Primitive Roots: Short-lasting level restriction on the target (LV1) and hate reset.

**First Derivation: Deals darkness damage to targets in area of effect. Additonal effect: Elegy (Massacre) and Plague.

**Second Derivation: Increases own attack speed and deals light damage to targets in area of effect. Additional effect: Defense/Magic defense -50%
*The additional effect lasts for approximately 30 seconds, but cannot be removed with erase.

**Convolution: Increases own critical hit rate. Additional effect: Critical Attack Bonus
*(Boosts own critical hit rate to 95% and Critical Attack Bonus to 50%)

**Depth-First Search: Deals critical damage to the player with the least hate. Additional Effect: Mute and Amnesia.
*(Ignores shadows, teleports to the player to use this attack).

(Under 25% only)

**Fibonacci Spiral: Weakness, Curse, Bio, Requiem, Shock, Choke, Burn, and Stun to targets in range.

(Trance only)

**Fractal Dance: Terrorizes all targets in range (30s duration).

Behavior:

Will use Trance at 75%, 50%, and 25% HP. At the start of trance will use Fractal Dance and then proceed to use Curing Waltz V until full HP. Once reaching full HP, will use Fractal Dance again and follow with Convolution and Depth-First Search. Will only use Trance at these %s once, so if he uses it at 75% then cures to full, he won't use it again until 50%.


Drops:

Ananda Bichawa (Dagger)
DNC LV90
Damage: 47, Delay 195
CHR+17 Critical Hit Rate +7%
Waltz TP Cost + 23%
Augments "Curing Waltz"
Augments "Healing Waltz"

**Curing Waltz grants a damage shield effect similar to the stoneskin effect from cures under Afflatus Solace.
**Healing Waltz becomes AoE.

Saif-al-Haqq (Sword)
BLU LV90
Damage: 60, Delay: 236
STR+7 DEX+7 INT+7 VIT+7
Augments "Chain Affinity"
Converts a portion of Blue Magic Damage to MP.

**CA will stay active for 2 spells.
**Converts up to 10% of spell damage to MP, capping at spell cost.

Asymptotic's Mail (Body)
WAR/DRG/BST/SAM/PLD/DRK LV90
DEF: 71
STR+19 DEX+19 Attack + 37
Haste+4% Critical Hit rate + 10%
Set: Occasionally allows a Weaponskill without expending TP.

Asymptotic's Helm (Head)
WAR/DRG/BST/SAM/PLD/DRK LV90
STR+11 VIT+13 Attack + 31
Haste+6% Increases critical hit damage.
Set: Occasionally allows a weaponskill without expending TP.

Asymptotic's Subligar (Legs)
WAR/DRG/BST/SAM/PLD/DRK LV90
STR+13 DEX+13 VIT+11 Attack +23
Haste+4% Double Attack + 11%
Set: Occasionally allows a weaponskill without expending TP.

Statistician's Sash (Belt)
LV90 All Jobs
Haste + 6% Critical hit rate + 15%
Increases critical hit damage.

Theoprastus' Scepter (Staff)
LV90 RDM/BLM/WHM/SMN/BLU/SCH
DMG: 55 Delay: 366
INT+17 MND+17 CHR+17
Weather: Elemental Affinity:
Acc+7 DMG+7
Set: Enhances "Storm" spells.

**Storm spells give double weather effect.

Theoprastus' Quill (Ammo)
LV90 RDM/BLM/WHM/SMN/BLU/SCH
Weather:
Magic Attack Bonus + 11
Magic Accuracy + 11
Set: Enhances "Storm" Spells.

data-drain...

Nobody's gonna top this one, so the thread can die gracefully now.

Leif the Unoriginal (MNK/NIN)

Battlefield has a time limit of 15 minutes.

Draw In: Every NM has this.
Shut Up: 1 Minute Mute for the entire party.
Derp: 1 Minute Amnesia for the entire party.
Red Car: Summons the spirit of a red car to gain 50% haste.
Aerosol and Lighter: Cone massive fire damage and 200hp/tic burn effect
/wrists: Uses the power of the wind to slash the wrists of the party, causing them to drop their weapons in pain. The weapons are lost forever, so come bare-handed to the battle!
Call For Help: Calls for assistance from another character, despite what game they're from. Anyone from Laharl to Mario to Exdeath to The Absolute Victory Unlosing Ranger could show up.
Pokeball: Summons a random Pokemon to use as a pet.
Hundred Fists: Activates at 25% HP. Lasts 5 minutes.
Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken: Activates at 10% HP. All melee attacks from here inflict a doom counter of 10 seconds by striking vital pressure points.

Have fun!

I'll just depop if anyone is in the zone.... :P

one shoot kill, you need anything else?

Sucks to be You charms everyone with more hp then mp and silences those with more mp then hp
lolhealers warps out all mages to sky leaving them muted for 15 minutes
ransack cleans out your mog house of everything including your moogle while your busy fighting me
dont give up yet raises players fighting me but with doom counter on them
money sends all your gil to my delivery box

full time terror gaze and endeath on my attacks and agro/draw in anyone to enter the zone when im up

I might actually try for a semi serious answer. :O!

Spawned using Grape Juice and a Jack-o'-Lantern.

MNK/DNC Fomor.

Special Attacks:

Back Breaker.
High Damage, inflicts Gravity.

Arm Breaker.
Mid Damage. severe DEX decrease to target.

Dodge.

Asuran Fists.

Spinning Attack.

Curing Waltz VI.

Can use Hundred Fists multiple times.

Potent En-Drain effect on attacks. Extremely high Eva and attack speed. Has a potent Store TP effect.

Drops:
Lacas's Locket
STR-2, VIT-2, DEX-2, MND-2, INT-2, Attack-5, Accuracy-5, Eva+20
Enhances "Drain Samba" effect.
Lv 87 All Jobs.

I'd have standard Tonberry moves.
Except I absorbed all damage while not preforming a tp move.